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Application Overload

Filling out countless job applications about my strengths of "compassion and organization," how "helping people makes me happy" etc,  it can get pretty boring and mundane. 
Here's how I wish I could answer some of the ol' application/interview questions.
What are three things that make you happy?
Boat rides, puppy cuddles, winking grannies/cute old couples. 
Sweet, little Brantley! Miss that crazy pup. 
What are your strengths?
Promoting things, butterfly stroke, making epic breakfast feasts
Man, whoever made that cool poster has such awesome promotional skills. 
Weaknesses? 
Pizza, backstroke, sense of smell, making decisions
What can you offer us that someone else can not?
Superb baked goods, surprise gifts, and an average harmonica serenade at your service!
What changes would you like to see in the world?
More hand holding, picnics, flowers everywhere, bike lanes all around, outdoor seating
What are some of your biggest accomplishments?
13.1! Surviving hitchhiking, couchsurfing, and many stranger friends, and getting Charlyn to take her meds. 

If only...
Maybe I'd get points for being different? 
What are some of your questions and that would make this list?

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